Problem page

Your questions to our qualified counsellors are always welcome. To get in touch with the team, email flipsideproblems@mariestopes.org.uk
or write to:
Flipside Problems, 153-157 Cleveland Street, London, W1T 6QW

Your questions answered

Meet the Team

Dr Kate is a fully qualified doctor and family planning specialist who’s previously headed-up her own problem page in her home country of Australia.

Sarah works with boys and girls between the ages of 14 and 18 on all things to do with sex and emotions. She also runs workshops in schools in the London area so has first hand knowledge of what issues bother you.

Richard is a trained counsellor and has spent several years answering questions from people from all walks of life – but in particular he’s expert on young people’s emotional problems.

I’m only 14 and I’ve already started to get stubble on my chin and lip. I thought this wasn’t supposed to happen until you got older?
Duane, Dover

Richard says…
There’s no hard and fast rule that says when you should or shouldn’t start growing body hair. It happens to everyone at different times and it’s all down to those good old hormones! During puberty these ‘chemical signals’ let your body know it’s time to start growing into an adult – and growth of body hair is one of the many changes that happen to you. On average boys grow facial hair between 14 and 16 – but some start earlier and others not until they’re 19 or 20!

If your facial hair is ‘peach fuzz’ – fluffy soft hairs then I’d leave it be for now – but if the hair is thicker and really does look like stubble then you might want to think about shaving.

But don’t just steam into your chin with any old razor – make sure you get a clean new one first. For the best advice on actual technique – go ask your dad who’s been doing it for years!

I think about sex all the time and keep talking about it too – is there something wrong with me?
Simon, 15, Hull

Richard says…
No, there's nothing wrong with you! Having a sex drive, being turned on and wanting to talk about sex is a perfectly normal part of life! People have different levels of sex drives — some have higher drives and some have lower but at the beginning of adolescence it may seem like it’s REALLY high! This happens to boys and girls because hormones are raging around your body as you gradually turn into an ‘adult’. It may seem out of control at the moment because it’s all new but it will settle down. You can work on the talking side of things if you’re worried what people think. Just try and concentrate a bit more on what you’re saying and you’re less likely to upset anyone!

Please help I’m really worried that my penis is too small! All my mates seem to have really big ones. Am I abnormal?
Billy, 16, Devon

Richard says…
You don’t say how big your penis is – but assuming it’s not microscopic I’d say that you’re not abnormal. The average size range for an erect penis is 5 – 7 inches (13 –18 centimetres) – but you could be smaller or larger. Whatever your size it’s important to be happy and comfortable with it. When it comes to girlfriends it’s unlikely that anyone will notice – unless you have hang-ups about it and bring your ‘problem’ to their attention! The main point is attitude! You body is still maturing Iso there’s a good chance that your penis will get a bit bigger in the next couple of years. And lastly – do your mates really have huge penises? Think about it – they’re probably just as paranoid as you – so don’t stress!

It hurts when I pull my foreskin back is there something wrong with me?
Martin, 14, Cardiff

Dr Kate says…
This is quite a common problem and generally nothing to worry about. As you go through puberty your foreskin will pull-back more easily – particularly if your penis is soft and the foreskin is looser. But if you have any swollenness, or it hurts when you pee or you experience pain if you masturbate then it would be a good idea to go and see your GP or go to your local GUM clinic (look on the internet or in the phone book for one in your area). If there is something wrong it can be treated quickly and in nine out of ten cases very easily!

For more advice on all aspects of emotions, relationships and sex visit www.likeitis.org – a website that tells you what you want to know – exactly like it is!

The Flipside Extra problem page conforms to the Guidelines for Coverage of Sexual Subject Matter in Teenage Magazines, developed by the Teenage Magazine Arbitration Panel (TMAP) in conjunction with the Home Office. The guidelines can be read in full here.

This problem page service is provided in part (at no charge) by Marie Stopes International (MSI). The views of the Institution of Engineering and Technology (IET) do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of MSI.